Month: November 2021

In a world full of difference, death is the one thing we all share. We will all reach the end of our road one way but the way in which we go out is unknown, for most. When I first heard of death with dignity it was not called that, but rather referred to as euthanasia or physician-assisted suicide. I first heard of these terms in high school and remember how bad they sounded. Just the name alone it doesn’t sound like a pleasant thing, and it reminded me of putting down an animal. Once I was educated about the topic I went back to thinking of animals. I thought this sounded negative because it reminded me of putting down animals but then I remember we do this prior to the pain and suffering the animal will endure. I remember finding out my childhood cat had cancer all throughout his body. Rather than treatments and surgeries we decided to end his suffering and put him down. Why can’t we do this for humans?

Come to find out years later we can do this to humans. I grew up in a religious household but never grasped to their principals or beliefs so ethically this doesn’t challenge my beliefs. I believe, like all patients, even terminally ill ones should have a say in their care. This can include treatments, surgeries, and death. I know personally if I was given a terminal illness, I would want to remember my life as the way I intended it to be. This wouldn’t include being sick all the time, going in and out of hospitals, and being so fatigued form treatments, I can’t spend time with loved ones. As a future nurse, it is ingrained into our minds and practice to advocate for our patients. Some might look at this and think we are harming our patients. The way I see it is that our job is to “do no harm”. By providing patients with options and allowing them to choose their care, I believe this is causing far less harm than removing that choice. Patient safety goes beyond getting better and improving. Sometimes it’s the ability to identify the patients needs and helping them choose what’s best. Nurses are also here to help protect our patient’s autonomy by advocating. If someone would rather die as they are now, rather than enduring pain and suffering then that is the patient’s choice and medical professionals should be in support of them. 

I think death is so scary because it’s so unknown to us. Most of us have no idea when/where/ or how we will pass and that is terrifying. By giving that choice to someone it can bring them comfort. Rather than spending their last months fearing the inevitable, they can have the choice as to how/ when/ and where. It can also provide comfort to their family since the decision will be placed in the hands of the patient and not loved ones. Family will also not have to watch their loved one suffer for a prolonged amount of time. All patients should have the choice. 

Prior to this course I’ve never heard of emotional intelligence. I never thought that our emotions and ability to be both self-aware and socially aware could be scaled on something like this. The test I took was a forty-question quiz that would provide two options to every question. After finishing the test, I had to then understand my score. I’d have to say I was consistent in that I scored a 5s and one 6. For self-awareness, self-management, and relationship management I received a 5. For social-awareness I received a 6. At first, I really didn’t know what this meant because I wasn’t sure what I was being scored out of. I soon realized that my score for each section was out of 10, or 40 total (EI Quadrant Descriptors). 

            Once I got a better understanding of my score, I then was able to reflect on it. I was surprised by some of the results. I always have felt that I am a very self-aware person. With this test though I only scored a 5 out of 10. This signifies that I do have some self-awareness but still have plenty of room for improvement. Self-awareness is broken up into three categories: emotional self-awareness, accurate self-assessment, and self-confidence. With this section being broken down further I can now identify where I most likely made my score go up and down. I would say once I am emotionally aware I do have an accurate self-assessment. I don’t always have that emotional awareness though to get me to that next step. Lastly, I believe I most likely lost points with my self-confidence. Doubting myself is something I’ve always struggled with. To help my self-awareness I need to be more confident in myself as well as getting better with being always aware of my emotions. As a nurse I need to be confident, and I need to be self-aware of my own emotions that way I can help others with theirs. 

            With self-awareness comes self-management. In this section I scored a 5 again. Self-management is further broken into five sections: self-control, transparency, managing oneself, adaptability and achievement orientation. When it comes to “keeping my cool” in front of others I will say I do a good job with that. Even though I may be panicked inside I can “fake it until I make it” is most situations. Transparency is something I do struggle with at times. Depending on the situation I do get very stuck on an idea and have trouble seeing the other side. This is something I’ve been working on for the past 6 years and feel like I’ve improved but still have much more improvement to go. There’s much I need to improve with this section. I will give myself credit thought in my adaptability and my goal-orientated mindset. This is part of the reason why I wanted to go into nursing. I love being able to set a goal and reaching it. I need to continue to be adaptable, managing myself well, and setting goals. 

            The section in which I thought I’d score the lowest in ended up being my highest score. Social awareness is something I’ve struggled with since I could remember. I’ve lost multiple friendships due to lack of social awareness. I’ve always struggled with picking up social cues and reading body language. Social awareness is broken into three sections: empathy, organizational awareness, and service orientation. All three of these things are something I’ve always struggled with. I honestly think that being in nursing school has helped this section of my EI drastically and is the reason why I was able to score a 6. I believe the nursing skills I’ve gained in the past 10 months have been reflected in the score I received. I will need to continue to work on my social awareness since I will be dealing with so many different people in my future. 

            The last section of the EI test is relationship management and I received another score of 5. This section is broken into seven sections: visionary leadership, developing others, influence, convincing, conflict management, building bonds, and teamwork. I thought that I would have scored higher in this section because I’ve been in multiple leadership positions in the past. When reflecting on the leadership roles I’ve held, I’ve realized they’ve all been in situations that I have lots of confidence in. This makes me go back to think about working on my confidence to become a better leader. I’ve always loved working in a team, and I have the flexibility to be both a leader and a follower depending on the situation. Relationship management is so important to the nursing field. To have a successful unit teamwork needs to be present. As well as conflict management, leadership, the ability to develop others, and building bonds. 

            All sections of the emotional intelligence test have given me an insight to who I am and how I deal with emotions. I was both surprised and not surprised by my results. I’ve realized I still have so much more to learn and work on. I was pleasantly surprised that my social awareness is much higher than I had anticipated. It just shows me that I need to be more confident in my ability to be social and communicate with others. I found it very helpful that the EI test further broke down their four sections into more specific questions. It helped me to identify what exactly are my strengths and weaknesses. If I’ve learned anything from this though it’s those things aren’t always how I see them and that’s something I need to continue working on. These skills will help better develop my role as a nurse and my role in an interprofessional team. 

EI Quadrant Descriptors. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.globalleadershipfoundation.com/cgi-bin/eiscore.pl