Prior to jumping into her nursing career, Smity was a leader I looked up to. I still look up to her even though she’s hundreds of miles away. As I went through my interview, I realized that the leader I knew wasn’t the same leader who now works as a nurse. I asked her about her job, and she said, “I’m overworked and tired”. She began to explain to me a typical day for her job. She gets into work and before she clocks in there are signs everywhere asking for nurses to pick up extra shifts on her unit. Once she clocks in, she immediately goes onto the floor and gets her assignment. She explained to me that the “hallway patients” are the worst because they just keep getting added to her assignment. After her shift she rushes home to go to sleep. I asked her if she would ever consider a leadership position on her unit, and she quickly responded back with “hell no”.
Smitty not wanting to seek a leadership position sounded like a foreign language to me. She’s someone who naturally falls into leadership positions, so I was surprised to hear her response. When analyzing Smitty’s EI she has social awareness, self-awareness, motivation, and empathy. I know this because of years of friendship with her but also, I found more about her in the interview. I asked her why she didn’t want to pursue a leadership position. She went onto explaining the difficulty it has been being a new-grad ER nurse in Pittsburg. She explained to me that the mess that is happening in hospitals is something that she can’t even fix. She’s acknowledged her needs both mentally and physically and knows that taking on an additional role would not be best for her or her patients. “I’ll be stretched too thin”, she told me, “And I don’t want to break”. I found her answer to be respectable. She knows her potential, but she knows that she wouldn’t thrive in this setting.
Knowing the mental toughness that Smitty and her coworkers must have I asked what Smitty does for herself and what does the hospital do for them. She said how she’s found a schedule that really has been working for her. She works out before going into her night shift, works, then comes home and sleep. On her days off she said she tries to do at least one thing for herself. This could be hanging with friends, watching a movie she’s been waiting for, or cleaning her apartment. She said to me, “it wasn’t an easy transition, but I’ve found a system that is working for me”. She then went on to talk about the support she has at work. Smitty told me that her hospital has a wellness team that anyone can meet with anytime about anything. She’s found this helping as she’s witnessed a lot of death and didn’t have the easiest time coping with it. Once a month on each unit they will have someone come down and perform an activity with the staff such as yoga or meditation. In the hospital there is a room with comfy massage chairs, low lighting, and just a room to relax in. “No one ever has time to go to it though”, she said. She acknowledges the hospitals efforts to help the staff but “it’s just not enough”. Smitty explained to me that a lot of people feel guilty for using these services. Everyone is so short on time, so no one wants to take time out of their shift and focus on themselves. This is what has motivated Smitty to keep a journal. Since she does come home with a lot of baggage, she likes to leave it all on the pages of her journal. She finds it to be a great tool to go back and reflect.
I think it’s great having friends who are already in the nursing field who I can ask for advice or their routines. I think Smitty stepping back and not taking any leadership roles show signs of how developed her EI is. It takes courage to take a step back and to identify what your own personal needs are. “Put on your own oxygen first before others. If you’re dead, then who will you help?”. Smitty said she hopes to move back home to MA and “it’ll probably happen” she said regarding a leadership position. Taking to someone who is so aware of themself, and their surroundings has taught me a lot for what I will need to do in the future as a nurse.
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